October 1st 2017
The other day, I mentioned I sent off an email to request a mentor for Toastmasters. I was given a response welcoming me and requested a time to do a phone conference to get to know me (as well as a request to pay an additional $51.00 on the day of the meeting). That meeting is coming up October 3rd…Tuesday.
I got that email Friday, I didn’t respond yet. Why?
At the heart of what’s going on, I have that ‘old man’ anger brewing. I don’t want to be bothered by people. I don’t want to smile and small talk. I don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s the underlining hate that is spread throughout this journal.
Something I need to kill and stop fucking around if I want to do and go places.
Still, I dread the idea of needing to hear another person’s voice right now. Especially after spending a day being a ‘Yes ma’am’, ‘How can I help you?’ sounding asshole through the day at Walmart.
Oh, Walmart. I inherited a mess of extra little things with a forthcoming inventory and holiday season. I have to go in early Monday morning just to catch up without interference from management and customers. I worked Saturday. If I can weasel my way out of it, I will not work a full day on a Saturday again. It’s almost impossible to get anything done. It’s all customer service mode.
I would say “what did I get into” but I knew what I signed up for. Importantly, the reasons why.
Going back to Toastmasters, I would say “what did I get into” but I knew what I signed up for. Importantly, the reasons why.
Both are required things I must do to perfect my future. Like going back to college in the first place.
I need to shut the fuck up, squash that inner turmoil and walk the fuck forward. Both at job, academics and social growth.
I’ll respond to the email after this post.
myJournal 