November 15th 2017
I’m mad. I got a B- on a Discussion Board project. I don’t agree with it and I already shot an email out to the instructor.
According to the feedback, it said I did not participate with in the discussion during the week. But I did. I always do and I do it on time.
So, I sent her an email, addressing each date and time I responded, substantially I might add, to the other classmates and asked her what’s going on. Currently waiting for a response.
What’s interesting to note is my current fury. I feel I got robbed as I’m looking for perfection in my grades. Considering I’m working my ass off to go to work at this ridiculous job and attempt to do this school work with my eyes open when I’m dead tired most nights: the fuck right I’m going to challenge fucked up grades.
I want perfection. I’ll know if I don’t deserve it.
It got me thinking also: here I am at the mercy of someone else. You play by the rules, try to decipher what is explained to you and do what you’re supposed to do and you got to beg for what you want. It’s done at work…and here I am doing it at school.
You can say: that’s how it is, You have to fight for the things you want.
I say: Fuck people. Why do they make your life difficult? These are the micro-reasons that just keep building and building why I can’t stand interacting with anyone. Yes, yes, yes…I know I have to, but look at the shit I have to deal with?
In regards to this grade, it could be a mistake and by sending an email, I’m addressing it and maybe it will be okay and fixed. If it’s not, we take it up a notch because I’m going to dispute it depending on the answer.
At work, you are given a department to manage but upper management feels they want to micro-manage everything you do: place a box here…they don’t like it … move the box. At what point will you truly manage your department? You can’t. Walmart has this thing now called “One Best Way”: streamlining how all Walmart’s need to operate and be ONE way.
So, this White guy is a regional and everyone is jumping around to respond to how he wants things. No one…NOT ONE PERSON … is responding to how the customers want things. Things they don’t ask but if you work the neighborhood, you know what works and doesn’t work for the demographics. Instead, they all jump around to do things that meet the regional expectations and he isn’t even from the neighborhood. He’s not even the demographic!!! We have shit at the store that won’t sell because no one in the neighborhood will buy it. Still, we have to do it the Walmart One Best Way. One Best Way assumes all the customers are One Way. Fuck is that about?
So what am I managing? Nothing. I’ve disconnected long ago. I’m where I need to be for school but I’m still not firm about being an assistant manager.
As for school, I’m getting back to it. I’ve known since I started these new classes, the devil is in the details. I have to tighten up a few things. I get that.
But, with this grade…a goddamn B-????? The FUCK is that. Fuck no. Unacceptable.
Stay tuned.
Additional Note: (2 hours later): Still no response but I just had to add … this grade really pisses me off. If I’m not working hard now, than what does that say for the years upon years I thought I was working hard before? At what point can I be in control of the things I do with an outcome that is commensurate to the amount of effort and hard work I put into it? Once again, I subject to what others have to say and I can’t stand it. I went through this with my attempts at film. My novels. Is there anything I can do, that I work hard at, that won’t fail? Or fail to get recognized?
This grade and her feedback is like how I never really got any reviews for my work. I’m like a fucking ghost to the industry. Sure, people like the work when they find it…if they find it. But i’m invisible. I’m thinking this instructor probably missed my work and forgot to add the grade…which doesn’t make sense since she graded the other portions of it.
Fucking people. I swear to God. I SWEAR TO GOD … I will plan a way to be free of dealing with people.
Am I overreacting? Probably.
But I deserve fucking better.
Update: 11/17/2017 – The grade was upgraded to an ‘A’. She says it was becomes of technical problems that didn’t allow her to see the responses. So, what the fuck are you grading if you can’t see the work? Stupid bitch.
Do you see why I hate being at the mercy of people? I’ll find a better way.
myJournal 