Fall and Rise

June 28th 2018

I was offered a job. In IT. $19/hr 28/hr overtime. By my current status, it’s considered a jackpot. It’s with a temp agency that I worked with years back. They changed the name but name dropping old supervisors got my foot in. From there, I was on boarded.

So what’s wrong? Well, though I will be called for jobs that I am qualified for, the first assignment out the gate I am NOT qualified for. Server network admin. I just don’t have enough background in that work for a big business.

Part of me felt like I should’ve lied. Said I could handle it and do as much research as possible. I know I said that I would “create“ a better resume so I can get the work I’m looking for, but I do usually stay within the framework of things I do know so I wouldn’t have to lie when I get there.

I feel, because I didn’t lie, that I was not aggressive enough.

On the other side, if I did lie and I got caught in a lie I probably would lose the job and everything.

So, taking it from that perspective, I don’t feel so bad. I’m in a holding pattern waiting for the next job but I did sign off at $19 an hour. Armed with that knowledge, I now know how much I’m worth. I’ll still look for other tech work with the same resume I gave them knowing I’m asked by for 19.00.

This experience taught me the importance of really knuckling down to get these certifications. Not just A+ either. Network +, Security +, etc.

Im being brief because I’m entering this entry from my phone from sketchy internet service. Just know I realized recently that I am not the same man I used to be anymore, and how easily I can fall back into that man when I feel defeated or depressed.

As of this day, with all I am actively doing, I am a better man and its important I drop people and things from a dead past. Any attempt to connect with even people from a self destructive past —— even if not so destructive but associative from who I was —— isn’t very healthy and forward in motion.

I sometimes seek old friends and old habits when I feel down.

Instead, I will play my guitar. Eventually get back to animation.

Practice is going okay. I’m learning to fit in finger drills at all free moments. Which means the guitar travels with me when possible.

Got all “A’s” in last units assignments.

Once I’m working officially, I’m looking into a new wardrobe also. Throwing all the old crap away.

I want everything in my life a fresh start.