Even Better

April 7th, 2019

Life for me has improved.

I look back at the year and a half of misery, confusion, suicidal thoughts, etc and need to ask myself what changed to get me centered. I don’t even take any nootropics. No adderall. No drugs. Nothing.

Not even meditation.

What I do know about life is, there are “up’s and downs’…feast and famine. Normalcy and insanity. Times where life is good and when times are bad. Don’t get me wrong, these things are still happening.

The difference is the length of feast over famine …the amount of good days over bad … that I am controlling. Yup, it all circles back to ‘me’ and how I handle it all.

Let’s start with the first easy workable change: I’m working consistently.

Not exactly an IT job — more like a whole lot of grunt work — but I’m paid weekly good money. Also have a second job opportunity with another company to work with the census soon. I’ll have to drop one for the other if I decide to take it. I’m going through the application process. Jumped through a few of the usual federal application hurdles already so it looks good.

Both jobs will have me traveling. Both jobs have ups and downs to them.

But this journal entry has nothing to do with the jobs as much as how I have been handling life with these jobs and the people I work with.

As you know, I can’t stand people and that still stands.

So, the job I’m working with now has the largest collections of jerks and assholes anyone could possibly work with.

How do I manage? That, my friend, is where I reveal the good stuff.

It’s a little bit of everything I learned over the year especially during my time at Walmart. Remember that time I expressed the best way to ignore the people around me is to use my height and look above and beyond them?

The idea was if I looked above the heads of people and not AT people, I can focus on what’s important and stop worrying about who’s looking at me. Of course, it worked and over the year I’ve removed needing to have eye contact with anyone unless I need to speak directly.

As a result, i carry myself as arrogant, I’m sure. But guess what? The expression of arrogance and unapproachable works for me and it works on the job place.

I work with grown-ass men and they like to pick on one another. Stupid jokes, etc, etc. Some people are worse targets than others.

In past jobs, I would get mad and say something and create enemies or quit if people tried to label me as a target to joke on.

Quitting jobs put me in this financial hole. Then I’m looking for work. The circle goes round and round.

In order to keep a job, I had to improve how I handle people.

The trick for me is the ‘above and beyond’ routine — expressing a singular focus to do the job I am working on. No socializing. No joking around. Anti-social 100%.

It sounds terrible, but even my expression emits “If it isn’t about work, don’t fuck with me”

And it’s working.

People talk to me, immediately and on first contact, with cautious respect. Do you understand how much that means to me? To be left the fuck alone, but when they need to say something, it comes from a place of joke-free respect?

The problem up till now has been I left myself open to be non-confrontational, friendly black man. Not too unlike President Obama, who was disrespected every hour of his presidency by even high ranking leaders.

It’s a sad world — where you need to be considered a bitch/bastard to gain respect. And trust me, it’s never that people give respect that’s earned. You could be a Black president of the United States and still have another world leader NOT shake your hand in public.

Or you could be a new employee, greet people and do the job, and someone will find a need to say something smart-ass.

The focus on doing the job also provides consistent good results toward my financial needs so why the fuck would I care what anyone thinks of me if I’m just doing the job and keeping to myself?

The secret to my current success, believe it or not, has been a healthy amount of “Fuck everyone” and “leave me alone”. The results are showing in my freedom of thought and clear mind to get what’s important to me done.

Still haven’t been on Facebook in going on two years soon. I really have nothing to say to anyone — and I’m happy! Money is rolling in. I’m writing a little here and there and I have an animation project I’m eyeing at the end of the month to start.

People do suck — so let them burn.

Which kind of brings me to my wife’s grand-kids.

As you know, they were staying with us and these ghetto trap kids are about to go home soon. Thank god.

I had a recent heart-to-heart with my wife about what led up to this and how it will never happen again.

She literally blames me for saying “Yes” to allowing these brats stay here. No lie. if we talk about it, the conversation flow is always “Well, you should have said something different.”

This goes back to being the ‘non-confrontational asshole I was a year ago.

Her daughter’s third child was sick. She needed help with the other two. Where else were the kids to go? Of course I said yes. I didn’t want it. But what else could I have done?

Now I know what I could do: fuck no.

Especially if, being her husband, she’s telling me saying ‘no’ to help her family was on the table. That it even an option???

Then fine. Fuck it.

She has a son in New York. Age 22. I hear he’s fucking up. When we go to New York to drop the fuck-brats off, she will want to consider the idea of bringing her son back with us.

I was already over this and talked to her a few weeks ago and said: It can’t happen. Sorry about what your son is going through, but when we go to NY, it needs to only be us coming back home. I can’t live with another person under our roof no more.”

I said it politely. I know she’s troubled. Hell, it’s her son. I feel like a dick because it is her son.

But fuck it. No.

I hear her daughter is going though some shit, too.

Fuck it. No.

Not going to happen.

The price for being sane and happy is to be an asshole in the eyes of others.

What you are experiencing is the death of the “nice guy” and the birth of a person I never knew.

Someone happy.

No Way To Live

April 16th, 2018

How do I even begin?

I signed up for this “no pay” school to study Computer Science. It’s one of those current “Study now and when you get a job, we’ll deduct your tuition later” things. LambdaSchool to be exact.

Basically, you spend time doing the online course as a preliminary, you schedule an interview to see if they want you in the course and they make a decision.

So I get the phone call for the interview. The first thing she wants to know if I plan to put AIU on hold in favor of doing the six-month course with LambdaSchool.

I said “No”, but I plan to succeed as I am currently with AIU.

First thing out of her mouth is, “I don’t think you can do both LambdaSchool and AIU at the same time.”

I tell her the time at AIU is flexible, which it is and compare her asking me to quit AIU to asking me to quit a full-time job. My current situation allows me a lot of time and no matter what schedule she gives me, I can accomplish both.

She wasn’t hearing me, telling me it was impossible. Meanwhile, if I had a job, I wouldn’t technically have time for any of it, but would you ask me to quit my job?

In the end, she said she’ll submit it to admissions and give a decision later. which really means she will deny me. Before we hung up, I asked her not to swing the vote by her feelings on the matter — that not everyone works the same way. She claims no one who is the program is also going to a fulltime school. I suggested maybe they lied.

Anyway, I expect to be declined. If I’m accepted, it will be because someone might call her out on her assholism and it already left a bad taste in my mouth and I’m likely to decline them.

This is exactly why the earliest part of my life was spent learning things on my own. or why I stopped trying to submit my writing to agents. Dealing with gatekeeping fuckers burns me every time. Every. Fucking. Time. I don’t sell myself well because I strip ANY resemblance of begging the next person to “choose me”. Here are my qualifications. If you don’t like them … move on.

This is yet another example of my hate for begging. You know that bitch is going to slant her opinion to the decision, without knowing me. What she does know of me now has I rejected her assessment.

The whole purpose of going to this extra programming course was to achieve a certificate in computer science and get job placement sooner than the three years it will take to get a bachelors from AIU.

I’m mad.

I’m mad that I allowed myself to think the playing field would be fair.

I have MONUMENTAL amounts of free time to probably work two jobs if I can find them PLUS continue to maintain the current GPA. Even with the ONE I had, I still did well and that was full time.

So fine, I’m not working right now, so I have time to take this course and this bitch is telling me It’s impossible? Impossible for her so it must be impossible for me.

This experience is yet another “hating people” moment brought to you by assholes you have to beg for things from. I’m struggling with the concept of dealing with Assholes. I just can’t live that way … nor can I live THIS way unable to deal with people.

This is what I have to look forward to going back to work? Only to get fired because I have to tell someone I can do the work when THEY think I can’t? Or get fired from a job because I call them out on being assholes? Or allow people to just talk or say anything they want in order to keep a job?

Oh, and fucking guess what I just got in the email. I mean, exactly right now. Like God was soothing me for going through this hassle with a cunt. This is my second one. Look at what’s deemed impossible. Fuck Lambda School. I’ll be fine without them.

Internet Death Threats – A Toothless Fang-less Pussy (cat)

December 30th, 2017

No, I’m not receiving death threats. As of this date, barely anyone even notices I’m writing a life’s journal.

But, I’ve been reading a lot of articles lately online about people getting death threats based on the things they may have said online. From either side of the political/social fence you might be on: say something against white nationalists, you get a bunch of threats from nationalists. Say something against Blacks, Jews, Gays, or anyone else NOT straight WASP White, you get backlash and death threats, too.

Constantly reading about folks needing to move … physically move from their homes and relocate their families … because of death threats. Leave their jobs and such for the protection of their families.

Again, I have never been the focus of a death threat and, it’s in my opinion, that should offer comfort for the person(s) that would have/could have issued the threat in the first place. If you have read anything of my journal, you know my position on people in the first place. So it shouldn’t come to a surprise that if I were to ever be ‘hinted’ at a death threat — to quote Mark Hamill — “Things will not go the way that you think.”

I’m of the frame of mind that anything issued via text, online or on an electronic device ‘threatening to kill me’, is issued from a punk ass pussy that’s spineless to step within inches of my face and do the same thing. The internet is wrought with cowards. Infantile cowards hidden by anonymous screen names and hidden VPN IP addresses, trolling because they hate and have very little backbone to act.

Another form of cowardly acts are people with rifles shooting up places. Mostly because it comes right after they are proven cowards in any other form of life. Including getting bullied. Can’t rule that out. So, you are getting beat-up and picked on at school or work, so your response is to come in and shoot everyone, including those who had nothing to do with you? And likely die from your own gunshot wounds or a police shoot out? That’s your master plan? Fucking cowards. This is America. Don’t like what I say? Send an anonymous death threat by messenger. Can’t handle things around you? Shoot everyone.

This is where it can be assumed my opinion and response to life is considered ham-fisted. Maybe an alternative blunt instrument point of view. But, it makes life simple this way:

Fear no man.

He/she bleeds and can die just like you. He/she has no more power over you than you have over him or her. Tear away the excess talking and showmanship — tear away the lies they post about their lives and people they know online and you’ll be confronted with a person that has fears just like you about many other things in life. You can reserve those fears for things like finding another job (case in point), the wellness of family and close friends, where your next meal will come from. That sort of thing.

But to fear another human being is laughable. To fear a human being sending a death threat by email is ridiculous.

I’m more than likely to invite the person who threatened me to act on it. I’m not moving. I’m not changing locations. I’m not leaving my job. What I’m surprised I’m not hearing out there is a reversal of situations: “Thanks for the death threat. Now, I’m coming for you. Good luck hiding.”

You see, it’s bizarre to me that anyone who would consider sending a threat isn’t expecting to be hunted. My soul wouldn’t hear of it. Not with my background.

The idea of threatening me, if he/she is lucky, will get a response short of publicly shaming the person who sent it — but it gets a little dark when you threaten my children.

Suddenly, the person who issued the threat is in the cross-hairs and there will be nowhere to hide. I won’t send emails. I won’t do the back and forth. I’ll find the person, show up when he/she least expects it and finish that person on their doorstep — with my bare (gloved) hands.

And leave no trace with a successful alibi. You see, it’s not enough to retaliate a threat with a threat. It’s an extermination and, hopefully, teach a lesson.

So, yes. I’m advocating harassing your harassers because they have no true backbones. If you’re not into settling scores, then ignore the threats because I don’t believe they have the balls/eggs to act on them.

And if they DO act on them, they are likely sloppy, inexperienced untrained assholes that will leave themselves open for a self-defensive killing that will only underscore how much of a pussy they were.

This begs to ask the question: What if they do show up and try to kill me and my family?

This is 2017 going into 2018. If you’re not paying attention to your environment with the cautiousness that ANYONE will likely house invade, rob, steal, try to kill, try to shoot you —- then you’re isolated and living under a rock. The advantage of calling out a harasser is there is no mystery to who’s coming for you and you can take action. Call the police, keep pressing on the offender’s whereabouts, or simply take that fucker out yourself. No matter how you spin it, fearing other people keeps you in a state of running.

In regards to being bullied — let’s look at the reality. You solved NOTHING by killing yourself. In comparison, you can solve EVERYTHING by beating the bully’s ass publicly. Not with a gun. Humans fear a knockout and I promise you — I swear to you — the next person that even entertains the idea of touching you will think twice. I so advocate taking out people that lay hands on you. More importantly, it must be done in front of others. It has to. Otherwise, it’s a private fight between you and the bully that no one will believe — or be able to spread far and wide to leave you the fuck alone.

I’ve had — maybe — four fights in my lifetime. Zero losses. Two without training. Two with training (gotta love the US Military). My advantage was height and rage. Blood thirst, they called it. While the other thought we were just going to punch each other into submission, I was looking to extract his life. A whole lot of choking — a whole lot of people trying to get me off of them. A whole lot of me throwing people off of me. Always the same.

But here I am. 49 years old and telling you — only four fights.

Four.

Mostly because I avoid them. The best tactic to win a fight is to avoid it. Not necessarily run.. I did a lot of that when I was younger, especially if I was outnumbered but that was like, maybe, twice. The rest of life was simply not taking shit from a shit-talker, don’t be confrontational on asshole levels and avoiding people as a matter of practice.

So, you ask, how do you beat a man/woman bigger than you that’s bullying you?

First, go for the knees. Bring them down to eye-level or to the ground and beat the shit out of them with a brick. Never said fighting had to be fair, just with your hands or something in your hands. No guns. Fairly partial to knives.

Second, if that persons advantage is muscle and height, you have to control that fear and use your other advantages. Lack of fear would be your best condition but, I get it — you’re afraid and you still need to deal with this fool.

I still don’t believe a gun is the answer. It creates fear in the opponent, but not of YOU. You’re just a coward now holding a piece of metal to make the other person fearful. Put the gun away or if it’s out of bullets, you’re finished.

It’s hard to say what you should do at a random moment. Are you alone? Does he/she have a gang of people around them? Can you run? Can you, stealth like, take him out another day? Are you prepared to train and fight another day?

All I know, with or without training, wanting to finish the next man that touched me has always been embedded in my heart so my approach to fighting disarmed most opponents. I don’t square off. I’m not afraid to be hit and I’m coming in like a heat seeking missile. Always, all the time, they are backing up — dancing backwards with their hands up as if trying to showboat, but I already see the fear. They’re backing away from me and I’m coming for them. They swing. One might connect, but I’m still coming. One might miss, but I’m on them. Grabbing them. More like wrestling than fighting. Looking to break an arm. Looking to choking the air out of them. Looking to smash their head (which I did) into a car window — hoping to smash it through. Damn car windows are hard to break. At least with someone’s head. Never did accomplish that. (bucket list fail).

But it makes them stumble. Fallback even more. They run, bleeding. I’m still coming. We’re not done yet. People are all over me — trying to stop me. I’m throwing people off me with hand twists I totally forgot about; just bubbling up from nowhere. I’m raging. They can’t stop me until I simply run out of steam and wonder what the fuck just happened.

Any professional would tell you, that kind of rage in fighting isn’t safe — so only four fights in my life is a badge of honor with no prison time.

But if you are confronted, refuse to use a gun and someone is putting their hands on you — let the beast out. Let them hear you roar. Something they won’t forget. More than one person assaulting you? Never stay on one target too long and approach the biggest one first to watch the rest of the dominoes fall.

Where did all this come from?

Obviously too much time on my hands to read articles and the news. Listening to people getting scared by other people. Listening to bullies threaten people.

Watching videos of that Charlottesville Virginia White Nationalist violence. I’m thinking, if this alt-right thing attempts to take it too far, that’s a war I’m more than willing to take to them. But, cowards come in gangs. No matter the numbers, they are just a big grouping of cowards: afraid of evolutionary and social change. Somehow, they think violence will affect that change and belay their fears. Truth is, they’re only building a counter army of what they fear most — people like me willing to exterminate them.

If they would only understand no one has it out for ANYONE unless they are threatening.

So what if you‘re White? If you feel your numbers are decreasing, it’s likely an issue within your own culture. So I always ask, which culture? Irish? Italian? German? Jewish? “White” is just a color — I’m asking what ethnicity are these people trying to say is diminishing? History has proven if these nationalists were to rid every Black person away from the planet, they will find a reason to hate something else. Could be a planet of just white people but it will go back to basics: the Irish are the problem. The Polish are the problem. The Russians are the problem.

So, to all white people, I say life is grand and no malice comes to you from a race that will defend itself.

I suppose that’s what white nationalists are trying to imply: that they are defending themselves. From what? I don’t spend my days plotting to rid the world of white people. Only fear generates suspicion and conspiracy theories and that’s one race that harbors fear like a shield. Check the ‘need to have a gun’ stats if you don’t believe me.

I guess what I should say is this: To white people out there with intelligence, can you please police your white nationalist/alt-right brethren before you get lumped into the pit of all being racist assholes.

Lately, I’ve been defending your race from attacks by ‘my people’ online who are truly thinking “All White People” are racists. Which of course, is not true. Your problem is that you don’t engage and respond to your own people. Uncle Joe is saying racist things? Your response: “Oh, that’s just uncle joe. Ignore him.” I went through that at Delta when I worked there. Obvious and clear racist fool worked there. I was told to ignore him. I didn’t and confronted him about it. What I didn’t like that others thought I shouldn’t have confronted him. That is where I have a problem with people of all flavors: don’t transfer your fears to me.

Blacks don’t have it right on our side of the fence either. Blacks should be policing our own assholes, too, before all white people believe all we do is thieve, rob and do some sort of crime.

Now, this is where humanity is what I know it to be. The average black American doesn’t share ‘love’ for the next person of color because we know that person fucking up is Jamaican, or Haitian, or from Africa or from other ‘cultures’ or families that don’t connect directly to us. Black is just a color. DNA can prove diverse tribes.

No more than two White people, one German one Italian, police each other if one of them is a gangster. There is no cultural, tribal desire to interfere in whatever the other person is doing. And being ‘American’ isn’t the bond that unites us — until another terror attack, I guess. For about a week after 9/11, the harmony was genuine.

Being American actually schools you to make money, fuck others if they are not (capitalism), give only if it’s a tax break and try to ‘look’ like you’re doing well even if you aren’t. Oh, and have a gun. Always have a gun for defense. Lol….like the idiots that claim they ‘wish’ they had a gun at the Vegas shooting a few months back. And shoot what shooting at you from 1000 yards in a snipers perch? Most people can’t even shoot straight from ten feet.

You know, a few days ago, I did the unthinkable: deleted something I posted. It turned out to be the rantings of a very angry person so I just clipped it. That’s what this one sounds like but this time I’m leaving it.

A reminder that I’m leaving 2017 right where it belongs and attempt to shed this ugliness for people …and of people …into 2018.

Cause 2017 sucked balls and 99.9% of the people in it were assholes of the highest order including the king asshole in the White House right now.

Customer and Management Scum

December 16th 2017

Having a hard time with being at Walmart and I don’t know why it’s so bad. More than ever.

Actually, I know why. The usual: it’s Christmas season. The customers are assholes. The management are assholes. I’m not ‘managing’ my department the way I would like and I’m constantly fighting over creative control of how to put a fucking box on a shelf with the other management.

Really. I could set up a display or feature of items, and the next day, it’s taken down. Fuckers. If I can’t come to work with a desired purpose to get work done, without it being re-worked every time I turn, then it’s no wonder I feel the way I do. So, I come to work focusing on my own work (i.e, school, writing, etc) and Walmart just gets ‘enough’ during my shift.

It needs to be said, I never started into this position feeling this way. I wanted to give my all, but management is playing by a rule book that doesn’t allow me to be a leader. So fuck ‘em.

That said, for the past few days, I’ve been leaving early.

I’m on lunch now, but I already scheduled PTO (Paid Time Off) to leave at 1pm. It’s 11:28am. The goal is to go back to work after lunch, work an hour, and go home at 1pm. I’m off tomorrow. I was scheduled to 4pm. It’s not a cool environment to work on a Saturday at a Walmart during the holidays. They have no cashiers so their asking Department Managers to come up front. Bad enough I can’t stand customers as it is.

Speaking of customers, let me give a snapshot of the shit I commonly have to deal with:

* An associate buys an un-assembled bike. She brings it back because she wants the one that was pre-built. No problem. I bring her the exact same bike and she thinks its too small. Fine, she goes and gets another pre-built bike. It’s the same maker and name, but bigger. The original bike was 12 inches. The new one is 20 inches. She’s wanting the 20-inch bike for the same amount of money as the 12 inch. Myself and everyone else are like: “No.” But she, again another employee, is looking to speak to management to get the price changed.

* Customer is looking to buy her son a weight set. She wants the tilted platform with rack. I tell her the “Weights and the bar for the weights do not come with the rack, but we sell them separately.” She doesn’t want them separately and scoffs at the price of the weights and bar against the rack. Of course the rack will be cheaper than the weights. I told her to shop around for cheaper weights but this is how they sell them here. If the bitch wanted the weights included, she’d be paying three times as much.

What I’m finding is many adults really hate shopping for kids. And they do the worst thing possible: a slow inspection of a toy they’re going to buy and judging it based on whether or not THEY would like it. It’s ridiculous to see—watching people study a fucking Nerf gun and making decisions if they, themselves, would like it. It’s true. I hear them all the time: “Oh, I don’t like this toy, but it’s on their list.” or “It’s for my daughter. I wouldn’t play with it.”

Another issue is the customer that comes in asking me “Would I get this toy for a 5 year old kid?”

First of all, you got to be an asshole if you think every five year old kid is the same as your bratty fuck kid. The fucking kid down the block will want different toys than another kid. What does YOUR specific kid want?

Second, when I DO give a recommendation, why the fuck would you tell me “No, he wouldn’t like it.” Especially if your ass doesn’t know what a five year old wants in the first place?

To all fucked up customers that shop at ANY retail, I say this: Stop asking for recommendations for your kid. We don’t know your bastard ass sperm-result. We don’t want to know your fucking kid and if anyone dares to even suggest an item for your kid, stop acting as if you know if your kid would like it or not.

If you DID know what your kid likes, you’d just get the fucking toy and stop being cheap bastards. Cause you KNOW the kid asked for Xbox in the first place so you’re just trying to dumb down.

Sigh.

I’m off in an hour. Off tomorrow. Will finish the last of my school work for this term and focus on what’s important because Walmart and the customers suck ass.

On a brighter note, I’m fleshing out another novel concept. A story I have had for years (in addition to the hundreds of others locked up). But I feel this is the right time to work this particular story. I’ll try not to make the mistakes of the past novel by planning it better, get it done faster and with tighter edits the first time around.

Quality Hate

The break at AIU is over and I couldn’t be more elated. Downtime sucks. Not that I wasn’t busy on other things. I think the issue is something I mentioned a few posts back: the ordered path to success keeps me focused and happy. Allowed to figure out my own path creates uncertainty and, apparently, despair.

For instance, I literally felt my mood shift overnight lat last week. I was in sort of of “waking dream” — that moment between waking up and you’re still dreaming. I laid there feeling my optimism about people, things and what I was doing drain off. I remember saying to myself “Oh no! Not now! Not while everything was going so good.” I woke up and felt my usual ‘off’. That feeling that required I take some sort of Lexipro to reduce the anxiety.

The thing is, this was the first time I identified, clearly, when I had a severe mood shift. I’ve always felt I had little control of that changing of mood. One can argue that I have control of ‘fixing’ that downward spiral. On that, I agree with some of it. The effort is A LOT, though.

As a result, my hate for people all this week knew no bounds.

Especially at Walmart.

All customers annoyed the fuck out of me. Ever notice those fat ass people on the electric carts; rolling around with their asses bleeding over the seat like uncontrollable dough? If I were to ever get that fat, stuck in a fucking electric cart, carting behind a line of other fat folks…it would be permissible to kill me in the parking lot before I get my fat ass out of the car.

The other day, one of these fat asses rolled up to me, minus any pleasantries (cause you know, their fat, so their evil) and she wanted some sort of jello.

In my mind, I was like: “You fat fuck. It’s too late.”

The reality was, we didn’t carry what she was looking for in Produce. But she insisted that it used to be in the location she was pointing at — which of course did not carry ANYTHING remotely close to what she wanted.

Again, my mind was like: “You fat fuck.”

She rolls away, and 10 minutes later, she’s rolling back with another associate who came to ask me the same thing. She’s like “He don’t know.”

I was like: “You fat fuck!”

But what I said was: “It’s not that I don’t know. It’s more like your asking for jello in the produce department and looking for it on a shelf where there’s Guacamole and no fruit jello would ever be.”

So the fat fuck rolled off. In my mind, while I was contemplating the weight capacity of the cart she was on; feeling sorry for the cart— I’m like: “If you weren’t so fucking fat, you’d probably find what your looking for under your lard, you pig shit fuck.”

I think the problem at most retail stores is the lack of education we provide to the customer. The lazy bitches drop anything they want anywhere: grapes in electronics. Toys in grocery. I’ve witnessed these idiots just shove anything they weren’t buying anywhere. Packaged meat in clothing. So, fuck you if we return warm ass meat back on the shelves and you get some sort of disease.

I’ve seen milk sitting on shelves away from the fridge and sooner or later it just gets placed back in the fridge going from hot to cold. I get on my own wife when she does that shit. Mostly cause I know, in all retail worldwide, returns (or the stuff customers drop where ever they fucking please) could have been out for hours.

The better strategy when shopping would be to take all foods from the BACK. Not only are the expiration dates later but chances are that front facing cold milk was on the sales floor in electronics all night by a dumb fuck customer and their fucking kids.

Additionally, I’ve noticed just how many people are stuck to their phones. Mostly women (men wear head sets and they don’t look any less the asshole). One thing I can’t stand is listening to other peoples conversations.

Women are the most vile offenders. Talking very loud in a conversation. In some cases, talking loud on speakerphone. Why THE FUCK do I have to listen to your fucking bodily issues and what medicine your taking? Or why you’re leaving your boyfriend? Or what other bitch is talking about you?

It’s an “I don’t give a fuck” era. People don’t give a fuck that they’re obese. They don’t give a fuck that they are broadcasting their shit to everyone in hearing range. They don’t give a fuck about not paying attention to their fucking kids while constantly being on the phone 24/7/365.

Sigh.

On another, yet similar, note: my moves at Walmart are working.

I think I’ll have a department or supervising something soon. I can continue to hate every customer that walks in as long as the overall job is done. No worries about that because my personal plans are bigger than the fat fucks on the carts that, also, talk shit on their phones while bumping into shit. That’s the comedy of it all.

Fuck ‘em. The success I’m looking for is to get above this level of shit I mentioned earlier. The customer scum quality that comes to this store. The employee assholes that work there.

That dumbfuck Jessica, I mentioned way earlier; the one I had issues with, is still a problem but more on a personal level. I don’t talk to her if I don’t have to and she cuts her eyes at me for no reason.

If this journal is all about venting a feeling or two: I wish her lifelong employment at Walmart doing nothing but the same shit she’s dong now. Which sums up to be about nothing.

Another thing going on: Hurricane Irma. With any luck, it will wipe out the filth of Florida. The problem is: it will affect South Georgia where my kids are.

How do I get my kids and find a way to say their mother she can’t come with us?

Save the religious christian love your neighbor shit. I would love for the bitch to drown on national TV while my kids are safe with me. “Daddy! Mommy died in the hurricane.” “That’s great dear! Let’s celebrate. Nothing a few therapy sessions won’t solve for you and your brother. As for me? I plan to party.”

I’m monitoring the weather and thinking of asking to get them Friday. Truth be told, I hear it might die down to a category 1 by the time it reaches this far in.

Let the bitch figure her own way out of it. If I were to get them and she did get swept away — do you even understand the positive end of that lottery win?