5/18/2019

I understand, as of this date, Tumblr is falling out of usefulness. Considering that I planted this journal here for the long-term, I expected it to last at least past my own existence. Turns out, if you remove pornography from the mix, people loose interest. It’s an ugly telling of society. Something I’ve been saying for much of this journal.

So, the rumor has it that PornHub is looking to take over the blog service. They unquestioningly have the money to do it — then suddenly Tumblr becomes ALL porn related. 

Not where I wanted to leave my personal thoughts for posterity.

Some of the goal today is to move every page of my journal to WordPress. The good news? There is information on how to do it:

https://en.support.wordpress.com/import/import-from-tumblr/

I think WordPress, from personal experience, has a longer lifespan. The most I will do, once I’m sure it will work, is transfer the details after I’m certain life at Tumblr is terminated. 

With this journal, I’ve always been in a crossroad: I barely have anyone reading it, which is fine — I’m not entirely interested in answering questions. At the same time, a little recognition wouldn’t hurt — but that’s the ongoing issue with any and all writing I do. So I’m not entirely surprised.

Tumblr doesn’t exactly parse across the search engines, so it’s not as ‘found’ as WordPress. Then again, people on Tumblr post tired re-posts of the same shit and get 1000 notes over crap so I don’t get it.

Moving on, it’s getting closer to the days that these kids living here are going back home.

I’ve got to say it was an experiment that was just plain wrong.

The argument could be had that I could have been a more loving ‘step-grandparent’ and tried harder to instruct these kids. 

The argument could be equally had that these are someone elses kids that need to be with their mother and I have my own kids to worry about. Additionally, I’m JUST trying to get out of a financial hole, and there’s no money extra for draining children that aren’t my own. Also, I can add, this is the third set of family members that belong to my wife that keep freeloading at our place. 

I had enough.

Every day I’m cursing that that these kids are here. Every day, I see my wife likes to play the role that I have no patience with these kids but watch her snap royally at them for most every little infraction. She has little patience herself and she will tell me that about children. It’s an insane arrangement.

In order to break all financial and poorly living cycles, I am working to get out of this shit hole round and round by finding better work. Currently, I’ll be working for the federal government making $25.00/hr setting up computer networks and such. Best money I ever made thus far. Even more than my time at Walmart as an assistant manager. The problem is, it’s only four months.

Problem also is, I MIGHT be traveling and I barely trust my wife alone as it is.

Part of me doesn’t care. The quest for a ‘better life’ doesn’t really include her. It would be nice if she came along, but she’s lazy. She wants the better money but unwilling to do better for it. Just keeps compounding us with more of her family bullshit whenever they stay here.

As for ‘another woman’, these bitches can stay in their lane. Not interested. I’d rather find a way to have a stack of cash than worry about having a better woman. The better woman will come AFTER I have the stack of cash.

Even my current wife shows signs of improving her disposition only after we have money coming in. Bitches are all the same. Whores to the end.

Also, the ‘going back to school’ plan is in effect. It starts in early June. Even better that I will have a semi-ongoing job to pay for the Math classes I will be hiring someone to do for me. 

I have no shame in that. The bottom line is, and I have documented it: cheating and lying is the foundation of all human progress. Anything above board is fantasy. I’m going to pass this class and tell everyone I worked hard for it: which is true — from a certain point of view.

I am fifty years old. What have I learned:

• Women only respect you if you have/make money
• You get a quality woman with money. How she handles you after that is your own fault. How you keep her in check is your responsibility. Example: Kim Kardashian is as quality as a blank piece of paper. BUT, with the right Kanye West money, you fill that blank paper with the quality you want it to be. If you have no money, you don’t get Kim Kardashian. You get no blank paper.
• Lying/cheating is the way the world works. Get caught, you will be ostracized. Tell the truth, you will be called a punk bitch and have nothing. Prove to me someone who always tells the truth is successful. Prove it without lying to yourself in the process.

Even this job I’m getting into. To work for the feds, you have to answer whats called an e-Qip background check thing. I did it once before to try to work for FEMA. 

Back then, I answered the questions truthfully. They had questions about my debt. In the end, they held up my entire process questioning “Why I have so much debt”. Fuckers. Why does ANYBODY have debt?

This time around, I pretty much said I’m debt free and all is good. Now I’m going to training in Virginia for a week.

Granted, this is a lesser job than working for FEMA — but I’m done showing people the truth. I’m going to get more things on this last half of my life. 

At the very least, to leave what I can for my children. After fifty years of life, I can’t support my family being an honest man.