Tag: grade

Grade F

July 20, 2018

Rough week, but in two more weeks, this math class will be over. As it stands now, I am going to get an “F” in this class and I’ve been taking the past few weeks learning how to swallow that fact. No matter what I do, It’s not working. So, I expect the GPA to plummet. 

In other news, I have been exercising each day, ramping up with incremental reps and sets of simple things: push-ups, morning runs, crunches, situps. The idea here is to break a bad habit of NOT exercising. 

This is all about not letting things define who I am — nor letting things eat at me. I have been killing myself — hating myself — over the failure of getting this math that I’ve overlooked one simple fact: you can’t accomplish all things and define yourself poorly over one or two things.

For instance, I applied for a job recently that required I should not have a lot of debt, nothing bad on my credit report, etc, etc, etc. Some sort of ATM maintenance position.

I certainly didn’t qualify for this job; which used credit and debt as a gauge if I would be the kind to steal from them. They asked me some questions over the phone. At first, I lied about my debt and credit history. Then it started bothering me that they wanted to judge me on my credit to decide if I was going to be a thief.

I have NOT stolen from any company I ever worked at no matter how much debt I’ve been in. But, this company tried to define me by my debt and thinks I would steal. Meanwhile, people who seem not to be in debt, are stealing, and will likely get the job and steal from them. Suddenly, surprise, surprise. So-n-so is caught stealing and they went through all this judgment process to swear they wouldn’t be the type to steal.

I won’t be defined by what they think a thief is. I declined the position before it even got too far into it.

I’m getting an “F” in this math class. Does that make me stupid? Does that make me less smart? Bigger picture question: if I was to never get this degree, does that make me less smart?

No, of course not. At least to me. The rest of the world needs ‘things’ to define what a person is. A degree makes me smart, even though I have seen degree-holding idiots. Regardless, have the degree, get the job.

I’m done beating myself up over it and just pushing through. I can do exceptional in other classes coming up. 

I’m still going to get the job done.

Terrible Professors

March 31st, 2018

I’ve been struggling with this professor for my SCIE210 class. Two of my reports got C’s (out of three, with one that I got an A).

The problem is like this:

The assignment wants me to do A-B-C.

I do A-B-C to the letter.

She takes points off A for not being more concise. B for something else. C for something else also. Meanwhile, I did everything by the assignment and she’s taking points off from ghost parameters that only she yay’s or nays. I have half a mind to write her and ask “what the fuck? Are these reports subjective reviews now?”

But I’m not writing her and I’m writing here instead. Venting because I don’t think the grading was fair — but at the same time, arguing about her opinion is futile.

You see, I would argue down blatant bad grades, yes. I admit I could have filled out more information in my reports, even though I know I probably do better than half my class. This one is … it’s like someone reading my book and I argue the case why they are wrong for a bad review.

I don’t understand if reports are supposed to be like this or not. Where the professor is giving an opinion rather than grade based on a rubric. I watched movies where that seemed to be the constant battle. 

You know something…I’m sending her an email anyway. 

No, I won’t. Just sick of this professor and looking forward to moving on. Truth is, I’ll probably have more like her and my job is to make every report ‘beefier’.

Here’s what gets me. Can you imagine me trying to write excellent reports AND have a full-time job? You say, “That’s what everybody does” and I agree. I’m getting a shit grade and I’m home is no excuse. I take a marginal amount of blame for the grade I have but come the fuck on. A C+ for some of the pettiest reasons. I can write my heart out in a goddamn paper next week and be at the whim of her shit opinions.

I’ll be sure to highlight my issue with her at the end of the course survey.

Meanwhile, the fact is I have to start giving 10-page reports just to cover my ass.

There is that feeling again. That hate to depend on another human to get what I need. Fucking hate it.

This probably answers what I won’t be doing: reviewing people’s novels. 

I don’t have time for other people as it is.