Tag: Mood

Back on Track

August 14th, 2018

I started new classes. With College Algebra behind me with a resounding “F”, I’m happy to report I got my first “A” in the current computer class for a paper I submitted. My work is going in on time, I feel good and life is back to normal.

That doesn’t mean I’m entirely safe. I was told the Algebra class would be coming back around soon so I have some choices: hire someone to do my work or actually “do” the math. At this time, there will be no way I can do it, but … but ….I am willing to start from scratch and learn Algebra while I have the time. Like from ground zero. Khan Academy has free lessons and I started with basic algebra. I think the class will come back around in September so I have a month to get my shit together.

I don’t want to cheat and hire anyone. Aside from the fact that I can’t afford it, I want to be successful by my own hand. Honestly.

So, I’m scheduling my life to make sure I’m doing more studying in that area.

Still haven’t found work yet, but truth be told, I feel like I’ve been through a raging storm lately mentally and it’s finally clearing up. I cut off watching the news again, so that’s been helpful. I’m telling you: there’s something going on and it wasn’t just affecting me. When last checked the news, it’s not just me. People are doing some crazy shit out there and I refused to either be part of it, kill myself or others. Considering I have been a suicidal mess, and I had every opportunity to end my own life, I made the decision not to and still feel good about it.

Which brings me to those Nootropic meds.

What I haven’t mentioned is I stopped taking them for a few days. About the only ones I’ve taken was the L-Theanine to help me sleep.

Why?

Because after the first doses — maybe after the third day of taking them — not only did they stop being effective, but I was focusing improperly on the wrong things. Evil thoughts that returned to the prospect of my dying and or killing others. It was a dark mood. Now, it was the end of the month so, like I observed, that ‘cycle’ was right on time and the pills did nothing but ENHANCE that darkness.

Not good.

So, I’ve been a few days (actually a week now) and the air has been clear.

But this is the beginning/mid month. Check back how I feel toward the end of the month. 

I’m looking into the reality that it’s about the foods I do or don’t eat. A side note to that is I’ve decided to stop eating any and all McDonalds foods. By the end of August, it will be the first month I have not eaten any measure of the stuff because I usually get a quick meal at least once or twice a month at some point.

I can’t say for sure, but I suspect that my mood warps usually right after I eat from there and my body cycles out the material that creates those dark patches I usually get. Not a scientific result, but did a mental check last month between the last time I ate from there, when my mood went dark and how long since I stopped eating it till now. It doesn’t look good for McDonalds at all if I’m right.

Also highlights that I eat from there too much.

Here’s an article that reflects a little bit about what I’m saying:

https://www.rd.com/health/wellness/effects-of-fast-food/

Nootropic Success

August 3rd, 2018

I finally found a combination that works. A set of pills that handles energy, clarity and mood – with the right dosage for a full day, also.

It begins with Adrafinil. I established that it works.

A few months back, I documented my use of Alpha-GPC and Coluracetam. I called Coluracetam a ‘mood lightener’ that worked for a few hours and Alpha-GPC didn’t do shit. It honestly had no affect on me.

That is UNTIL it combined with Adrafinil. 

Adrafnil by itself was okay, last four hours, but clarity/energy was not 100%.

Two days ago, I took all three and I was in motion. The first day, there was some sinus and headache issues but by the second day it was perfect. I guess my mind getting use to the change.

Clear headed, energy and desire to ‘do’ things when I thought about them and with a good attitude. Got a lot of chores and projects done. Wonderful stuff. I mean, on the first day of taking all three, I was stumbling over myself because my mind was racing. I was OVER thinking and doing. By day two of all three, I got better control of it and can focus on what I chose to focus on.

One of the key problems with adult ADD, depression, etc is the inability to focus on task and, often, not having the desire to do anything — then things get backed up, you feel messed up that you’re not doing anything and then the depression kicks in. But you still don’t feel like doing anything because of the cloudiness and so everything cancels out.

This mixture is killer: I feel like doing and, most importantly, accomplishing everything.

I’m getting a lot done — and it’s NOT adderall. 

I’m no chemist or physicist, but I know when something is working in my body. Alpha-GPC actually works in combination with the Adrafinil. So much so, that when the combination of all three starts to fade off in four-five hours, I popped one more Alpha-GPC and that activated me for the rest of the day; as if I took all three again.

The timing is like this:

6:30 am – Take all three pills.
11-12pm – Effects start to wane. Take one (1) Alpha-GPC
8pm – effects start to wane again.

Which is fine because it’s nearing time I go to bed. Here’s something that helped me the rest of the night: L-Theanine. People take that in combo to remove an edge to the jittery effects, but I don’t recommend taking it WITH your other pills because its just going to counter-act the purpose of having energy.

So, I take it to wind down from the day of using the other pills and I slept through the night. I tried it for the first time last night and finally stopped waking up at 3am. Yeah, I have been waking up at 3am for the past few days but that’s not because of the pills I’ve been taking. It was happening before the pills.

The L-Theanine is designed to promote relaxation and it did it’s job.

I’m happy with the results over the first two days. Today is the third and I’ll journal any downsides/effects moving forward. If you are interested in trying the exact set I’m on and where I bought it, here it is:

Adrafinil 300mg – Double Wood Supplements

Alpha GPC 300mg – Amazon

Coluracetam 20mg – Health by Naturals

L-Theanine 200mg – Amazon