June 24th, 2018

I’m going to do a full stop of all nootropic pills. I woke up this morning with a sense of reason behind my extraordinary sleepiness.lately. Additionally, there is another issue: my hand is still moderately swollen and it’s somewhat extended up my right arm with a little joint pain.

Not just me. My wife as well. She, too, has been sampling the medicine I purchased and she has been complaining about her right arm as well.

Yesterday I went to Six Flags Over Georgia with my daughter and it seemed like I couldn’t stay awake. I took off the day prior. I slept well into the morning before I went to the park. Spent half the day there: 12 noon to about 6:30pm. Got home and slept till 10pm, got up ate, and went back to sleep till this morning.

I did take Coluracetam before I left for the park — maybe to kind of try to find some usefulness out of it. Plus I wanted a lighter mood being around so many people. God, people are doomed. Never so many disrespectful lost human beings in my life. Another observational complaint for another time. safe to say the pill did its job to get me comfortably through the day without wanting to kill someone. People are ruined.

Anyway, I was thinking it was my work hours and me just getting older. But I worked longer hours at Walmart doing heavier pallets of work and I was not this sleepy.

Now, about my hand. I don’t have a clue how it got injured or when it exactly happened, but the rest of my arm isn’t in the best shape either. Hard to do pushups. Hard to close my hand to grab anything.

No insurance so I can’t get it checked out. The temp agency is offering something for me but I barely make any money as it is already for them to take more out for insurance. Then, of course, the child support as you know. I’m fairly broke every week.

The only change that I know of is my use of that Coluracetam because it did ‘something’ positive. The other stuff I don’t use much because it failed to work. Including the Caffeine pill.

But if it seems like it is affecting my wife (arm pain suddenly she can’t explain), then I have to put that stuff away.

is she sleepy all the time? Well, she works 12-hour shifts, put on a little weight (as wives ALWAYS do damn it. Haven’t had a wife yet that didn’t get fat once they got married. It’s disgusting. I hate it — but silence keeps the peace). So the weight and her hours make her tired. Hard to associate the pills with that for her.

So, here’s what will happen: all stop on all meds. Detox for the next couple of days/weeks and see if we return to normal.

The problem with many nootropic supplements is that they are not FDA tested nor have years of studying behind them for solid results. You take chances, figure things out for yourself and make wise decisions.

My wise decision is to pull out before anything gets worse. You can tell me that this stuff has nothing to do with my hand, arm, and exhaustion — but my physiology isn’t yours and yours isn’t mine. For instance, marijuana doesn’t get me high and I tried supposedly bad to expensively good versions of the stuff. Felt nothing. Since I never know where to get the stuff, I depend on whomever I am with to give me a sample. My friend will get some sort of high but I won’t.

Sad, actually. I wish I could get high. Well, at one point in my life I wish I did. Right now, it’s all about school and I don’t want that kind of lifestyle to interfere. So maybe I’m luckier than I thought. Or, to quote from a previous journal entry: slotted for life to not be addicted to things, unable to get high — to have clarity of thought for something.

Still, working out what that something is. Apparently has something to do with education and likely law.