September 5th, 2018

I have proof that teamwork is a faux title for an individual process.

And that it sucks!

So, two weeks ago, we had a group project in class and an individual project at the same time. Both powerpoint.

The group powerpoint instructed us to build a rough draft of our eventual final powerpoint. Each unit is seven days and, as a group, we looked stupid because we didn’t know how to proceed. Classes start Wednesday, and it was Sunday when I decided to say “Fuck it, this is what the rough draft is going to look like and I created a ten page slide-document with inserted pictures, and a whole lot of filler that literally said “blah, blah, blah” for areas we had nothing written in yet.

So, I submitted it to the group and my expectations were for everyone to fill in more things to make or fix the draft. I stopped looking at it and was expecting the five others to pass it around and adjust it.

Then I went ahead and did my individual project that same day. Another 8-9 slide powerpoint with audio as instructed.

I got an “A” for the Individual Project.

The Team got an “A” for the uploaded rough draft. That was the last I looked at the draft and we had a week break for Labor Day.

Two days ago, I get a call from a chick in my team (since we passed around phone numbers) and she’s like “I don’t know what we’re doing. What do you need me to do to help the group, etc, etc”. Now, in my head, I’m thinking the team contributed to the rough draft I provided. I told her to be calm. This was just a rough draft. We should start filling in the stuff “everyone else” contributed. Just continue from there.

I thought it was odd that she would call me in the first place, but figured since I was the most vocal about bullshit, it may be made sense. 

I was wrong.

She called me because I’m doing all the fucking work.

Turns out, when I opened the group powerpoint that was submitted for the grade, the entire fucking powerpoint is all me. Nothing was added or changed. Even all the “Blah” filler was left right where it was. Embarrassing! I even put in a self-deprivation joke that made it clear I was the one who did the slides. 

All that was supposed to be replaced or changed by the others.

Nope. As is — submitted and we all got the “A”.

So yeah, guess who they’re looking to get the job done. That’s why I got the phone call.

Most times, I feel I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing in these classes. Yeah, I still get “A” so that last statement doesn’t make sense. I know that. It’s a self-confidence thing that I can’t fix. It’s times when I think I know something, I often fail or get it wrong. 

It’s the craziest thing. The moment I say “I know this! I can do this!”, I fail. The more times I say I’m not sure or I don’t know, it just works out and I pass.

Never fails.

So, I spend more of my time being surprised things work out. 

That Math Algebra class is coming around again.

It’s all about cheating, though. I tried to study the lowest form of pre-algebra I could and it’s impossible. My mind won’t connect with it.

I’m hiring someone off of craigslist to do the weekly assignments and I’m not giving a fuck.